April 29, 2009

Attention Adam Lambert

Dear Mr. Lambert,

When you're on a live, nationally televised talent competition (as you are), and you are asked to choose between two groups to which you may or may not belong based on your performance (as you were), you're never supposed to actually choose a group (as you did).

Have you ever seen American Idol, Adam? And by that, I mean are you a living, breathing human being? It's the oldest trick in Seacrest's bag. Splitting the contestants into 2 groups and asking the remaining contestant the infamous question, "so, whoeveryouare, which group do you think you belong in?". This is the first time in my years of watching American Idol that I've actually seen someone answer that question. And I'm glad it was you, Adam. Because I think you suck anyway.

This, my dear, is what you're supposed to say. "Oh my gosh, Ryan, I can't answer that. Both groups are so talented. Why are you putting me in this position? I can't choose. I just can't. I love them all". And then you just stop talking. All while smiling and laughing and looking at both groups for an equal amount of time. And when the host attempts to cut you off and get to the point (as he did), you definitely don't cut him off in order to choose your place. It's called tact. And if you don't know what that is, please refer to my previous post entitled "tact" (My creativity is astounding).

I hope this is a lesson learned. And I hope that it goes well with you.

I mute the show when you sing,

p.s. I'm looking to buy some new eyeliner, any suggestions, Adam?


  1. i totally agree with you! i do NOT like him! i want kris to win, he deserves it more than anyone. enough with the screaming already!

  2. Send Anne a message or Jill. Jill just got some new kind the other day. Eyeliner is not part of my normal routine and so I'm no direct help :) And I don't like Adam either, Go Kris!

  3. im laughing so so so hard!!! I just found your blog. Where have I been?! I love it! And your sisters is awesome too. Yall are so funny!!! Love you!