Lord have mercy, I'm 25. And in honor of this momentous occasion, I've thought of 25 things that I want to do when I'm 25. Because I think that has a nice ring to it. And I need some things to do.
1. Run a half-marathon. Old news.
2. Read one book per month for a total of 12 books. For the nerd in me.
3. Be the object of someone's "missed connection" on craigslist.
4. Fly somewhere alone. But more than that, I'd like to mysteriously lounge at the airport bar stirring my cocktail with the straw and then seductively eat the olive off the toothpick. Who is this girl? Why is she alone? And why is she drinking at 7 a.m.? Is she meeting up with friends for a vacation? Going to visit her sugar daddy? Interviewing for a fancy job in a trendy city? Actually, none of the above, you creeper.
5. Go to a Cardinals game. Because it's a crying shame, and frankly quite hypocritical, that I've never been to one.
6. Go to at least 3 places I've never been.
7. Go to fewer weddings than I did in 2008 and 2009, which is 17 and 14, respectively.
8. Have 25 followers on my blog. This one is up to you, people. Bite the bullet and admit that you read it.
9. Conquer Super Mario Brothers, Wii edition. Dream big, kids.
10. Fit into my prom dress. Cue suck-in.
11. Use my friends Go visit my friends who live in cool places.
12. Conduct an undercover investigation on why I lose a sock every single time I do laundry. More than anything in this world I'd like to solve this mystery and put those socks in their place. Which is in my drawer, rolled tightly with their mates.
13. Start answering my phone and responding to text messages in a timely manner. Because I hear that's what having a phone is for.
14. Stop judging people based on their grammar.
15. Talk about cutting down on the number of "that's what she said" jokes I make but not actually doing it because it because it's too hard.... long pause.... that's what she said.
16. Buy a pair of skinny jeans. And wear them.
17. Take tennis lessons and play competitively if it turns out that I don't suck.
18. Go into Target one time and not come out with a V neck t-shirt. Just one time.
19. Finalize my list of "celebrities I'm allowed to cheat on any boyfriend with".
20. Not go green.
21. Keep breaking hearts and taking names.
22. Come up with 4 more things to do during my 25th year on this earth.
Ba-deep-ba-deep-ba-deep that's all folks. Stay tuned.