Jack of all trades.

Grandfather: Professional athlete
Grandmother: Professional singer
Father: Professional athlete
Brother: Professional athlete

With my genealogy, I would expect that I would be either an outstanding athlete or an immaculate singer. I am neither. In my days at Pulaski Academy, I played my fair share of sports. I did not excel at these sports. My singing was worse.

Basketball: I'd call basketball my "good sport". I wasn't bad, wasn't bad at all. In fact, ahem... I was named Most Valuable Player for my Junior High, District Championship winning basketball team. Please, hold your applause. That, unfortunately, was the peak of my athletic prowess. The very next year, when we moved to the Sr. High team, Jana Derlikowski, Alison Tussey, Jenny Hardin and I formed a revolutionary group called The Four Corners. What we did was.... well, we sat on the end of the bench. We refused to uncross our leg, stomp our foot twice, and recross our leg the other way when our teammate made a freethrow. We hit Jana, made fun of each other, made fun of other people, and received countless "stop that" glares from our beloved upperclassmen. What we didn't do, was sweat... thus making our motto "No Sweat... because we don't".

Softball: I'm a Sawatski. I did this because it was expected of me. I mean Jay's good at baseball, Carla must be good at softball, right? To me, it was just something to do after school. And let's be honest, I really wanted one of those jackets. I learned so much during my softball years. I learned what "moxy" means. Ok, no, I really didn't... but I had to act like I did because my coach always asked me "Carla, is that moxy?". I'd always reply with "probably not". I learned what it felt like to have a fan club. Mine consisted of approximately 6 people including my parents, but they brought signs, which made it legit. I learned what it felt like to lose... a lot. I also learned that you shouldn't skip a game to get your hair done for prom. Woops.

Soccer: I came home from school one day and enthusiastically told my dad "I'm going to play soccer this year!". He looked at me blankly, and then began laughing hysterically. I wasn't kidding. And that was the year that I forced my dad to sit through the excruciatingly boring game of soccer. I'm not sure he ever forgave me.

Pep club: This is something I never wanted to admit, especially in a public forum, but yes, I was in pep club. It was as awkward as it sounds. I proudly wore the gold mock-turtleneck, the pleated skirt, and of course, the Asics... the mark of any official cheerleader in the 90's. Plus, I got to perform the world-renowned Pulaski Academy cheer that every cheerleader (or semi-cheerleader) that has ever gone to that school has performed. "Bruins in the front, let me hear ya grunt...". I think you know the rest.

Track: actual conversation between me and my basketball coach --
coach: "hey, do you want to run at the state track meet?"
me: "no, I do not"
coach: "you get to miss a day of school"
me: "what time does the bus leave?"
That day was the beginning, and the end, of my track career.

In my early years, I also experimented with piano, swimming, golf, gymnastics, tennis, and karate.

I think, I THINK, I have justified my qualifications to be a Jack of all trades, one that excels at nothing. And then I got to thinking, "what AM I good at?". And then it occurred to me... math. I'm good at math. Really, God? Math? You had those genes to work with, and you gave me MATH? Good one.

This entry is far too personal and insightful. Won't happen again.