Writer's block

Buying some time until I get over my writer's block. I need to encounter some stupid people... and quick.

1. I make lists all the time. And I put things on my list like "eat lunch" or "wake up" just so I can cross it off.

2. From the bottom of my heart I wish I could sing, and I honestly don't think it's fair that I can't. 

3. I will love the Razorbacks until the day I die, even if they cause me to do so.

4. I hate the words "hotcakes" and "cookbook". I'll slap you silly if you say them around me.

5. I took awkward to a new level in Jr. High. For example, my mom used to make my sandwiches on Hoagie bread. I was embarrassed that I didn't have normal white, square bread like everyone else, so when I ate my sandwich I held it under the table and pinched off bites.

6. My dad called me Snarla when I was in a bad mood.

7. My favorite part of the day is brushing my hair after it's been up in a towel wrap after taking a shower.

8. I was invited to 17 weddings in 2008. That's got to be a record of some sort.

9. One time when I was out in Fayetteville, someone stole my shoes. Literally stole them off my feet. I went home barefoot and angry. I may or may not have called the police. 

10. It's been May 2005 in my parent's house for the past 4 years because that month is a picture of my brother pitching in the Hogs sports calendar.

11. My closet is color coded and arranged from tank tops to long sleeves within each color. Everything faces the closet door. It's the only way to do it.

12. Everytime I do laundry, I lose a sock. Every single time. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out why this happens. I take both socks off, I put both socks in the hamper, I put everything in the hamper in the washer, I put everything in the washer in the dryer, and still... I come out with an odd number of socks. It's a mystery that may never be solved. 

13. I have a recurring dream that my teeth fall out. 

14. I was in the commercial for the University of Arkansas that always aired during football and basketball games. It was a shot of me walking across the stage during graduation. No autographs, please.

15. I was born on February 8, at exactly 8:00am, and I weighed 8lbs 8oz. You can't make that up.

16. My dog's name is Ozzie... as in Smith, not Osborne. I picked out the name before I got her and refused to name her anything else, even though she's not a boy.

17. On April 1, 1995 my family's car was stolen while we were at my brother's baseball tournament in Memphis. The following week during prayer-request time at school, I asked my class to pray that the people who stole our car opened up my backpack (teal, Jansport), got out my Bible, read it, and became Christians. I'm going to ask God about that when I get to Heaven.

18. If I was a boy my name was going to be Stanley Wallace Sawatski. I don't know what my parents had against me.

19. If you've met my sister, you've met me. And vice versa.

20. I love math. I was a math major until I couldn't understand my teacher's accents anymore. I still do Calculus problems when I get bored in class just to see if I can still do it. I haven't stumped myself yet. 

21. I got in trouble in SonPower because Elizabeth Baker and I put too much powder in the lemonade. I still remember that lady's name, and I think about that everytime I see her. It was worth it, the lemonade was good.

22. In first grade, Sarah Phillips and I used to go to the bathroom and bang our heads on the sink so that we could get the gelly ice-packs. Mhmm.

23. Having a dog has taught me that I'm nowhere near ready to be a mother. You can't just give a kid a rawhide. 

24. I used to think I was going to marry Devon Sawa from Little Giants because his last name was the first 4 letters of my last name. 

25. One time I lied when my brother asked me if I had played his video game. He thought I had because it wasn't put back the way that he usually did it. I insisted that I didn't play it. Two hours of interrogation and one "family discussion" later, he finally dropped the subject. I never told anyone I lied. Jay, I played your video game. And I think I won.

Sorry if you just read that for the second time hoping there would be something different than the one on Facebook. There wasn't.

Jack of all trades.

Grandfather: Professional athlete
Grandmother: Professional singer
Father: Professional athlete
Brother: Professional athlete

With my genealogy, I would expect that I would be either an outstanding athlete or an immaculate singer. I am neither. In my days at Pulaski Academy, I played my fair share of sports. I did not excel at these sports. My singing was worse.

Basketball: I'd call basketball my "good sport". I wasn't bad, wasn't bad at all. In fact, ahem... I was named Most Valuable Player for my Junior High, District Championship winning basketball team. Please, hold your applause. That, unfortunately, was the peak of my athletic prowess. The very next year, when we moved to the Sr. High team, Jana Derlikowski, Alison Tussey, Jenny Hardin and I formed a revolutionary group called The Four Corners. What we did was.... well, we sat on the end of the bench. We refused to uncross our leg, stomp our foot twice, and recross our leg the other way when our teammate made a freethrow. We hit Jana, made fun of each other, made fun of other people, and received countless "stop that" glares from our beloved upperclassmen. What we didn't do, was sweat... thus making our motto "No Sweat... because we don't".

Softball: I'm a Sawatski. I did this because it was expected of me. I mean Jay's good at baseball, Carla must be good at softball, right? To me, it was just something to do after school. And let's be honest, I really wanted one of those jackets. I learned so much during my softball years. I learned what "moxy" means. Ok, no, I really didn't... but I had to act like I did because my coach always asked me "Carla, is that moxy?". I'd always reply with "probably not". I learned what it felt like to have a fan club. Mine consisted of approximately 6 people including my parents, but they brought signs, which made it legit. I learned what it felt like to lose... a lot. I also learned that you shouldn't skip a game to get your hair done for prom. Woops.

Soccer: I came home from school one day and enthusiastically told my dad "I'm going to play soccer this year!". He looked at me blankly, and then began laughing hysterically. I wasn't kidding. And that was the year that I forced my dad to sit through the excruciatingly boring game of soccer. I'm not sure he ever forgave me.

Pep club: This is something I never wanted to admit, especially in a public forum, but yes, I was in pep club. It was as awkward as it sounds. I proudly wore the gold mock-turtleneck, the pleated skirt, and of course, the Asics... the mark of any official cheerleader in the 90's. Plus, I got to perform the world-renowned Pulaski Academy cheer that every cheerleader (or semi-cheerleader) that has ever gone to that school has performed. "Bruins in the front, let me hear ya grunt...". I think you know the rest.

Track: actual conversation between me and my basketball coach --
coach: "hey, do you want to run at the state track meet?"
me: "no, I do not"
coach: "you get to miss a day of school"
me: "what time does the bus leave?"
That day was the beginning, and the end, of my track career.

In my early years, I also experimented with piano, swimming, golf, gymnastics, tennis, and karate.

I think, I THINK, I have justified my qualifications to be a Jack of all trades, one that excels at nothing. And then I got to thinking, "what AM I good at?". And then it occurred to me... math. I'm good at math. Really, God? Math? You had those genes to work with, and you gave me MATH? Good one.

This entry is far too personal and insightful. Won't happen again.